Let yourself feel grief and allow yourself to work through these stages. Do not try to mask your emotions and don’t try to rush your grieving process. [5] X Expert Source Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYTLicensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.
Light a candle in their honor. Take flowers to their grave and talk to them. Let them know what’s on your mind. Do an activity that you loved to do together, while remembering everything that was great about your spouse. [7] X Expert Source Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYTLicensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.
When grieving, you may experience the following: Sadness, despair, mourning, fatigue or low energy, tears, loss of appetite, poor sleep, poor concentration, happy and sad memories, and/or mild feelings of guilt. [11] X Research source If depressed, you may experience symptoms of grief, but also the following: feelings of worthlessness or emptiness, helplessness, extreme guilt, suicidal thoughts, loss of interest in pleasurable activities, extreme fatigue, and/or severe weight loss. Pay attention to how good memories of your spouse make you feel. Do warm memories of your spouse give you some comfort or joy? Or do you feel emptiness and loss that even good memories cannot relieve? If you experience the latter, it may be a sign that you are depressed. [12] X Research source
If someone is telling you that you aren’t grieving properly, thank them for their concern and tell them that everyone grieves differently. You may run into someone who thinks that you are either healing “too fast” or who thinks you are healing “too slow” and have become stuck in your grief. If this happens, be sure to keep in mind that while this person’s intentions are probably good and that he or she wants to see you healed, it is up for you to decide when you are ready to move on. [14] X Expert Source Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYTLicensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.
That said, in the loss of your spouse, you have faced a drastic change. It is best not to make any other drastic changes right away while you are still navigating your loss. [15] X Research source
Don’t think that if you become busy you will forget or that you are disrespecting your spouse. Life requires your attention and hard work. It is normal to be busy with life and it is not a sign that you are forgetting him or her.
You should aim to get 30 minutes of aerobic exercise every day. [18] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Try to eat a balanced diet of lean meats, nuts, whole grains, fruits and veggies. Avoid eating too much fat or sugar. [19] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Although the amount of water you should drink a day varies depending on many factors, aim to drink around eight glasses of water a day, but don’t beat yourself up if you’re a bit short of that mark as it isn’t a magical number. [20] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Aim to get around seven to eight hours a sleep each night, adjust as needed so that you feel rested in the morning. [21] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
To join in, look for flyers around your neighborhood, ask your neighbors, or search the internet for upcoming events you might take part in.
Take it slow; start out just once a week for an hour and see how it goes for you, then build up from there as you are ready.
For example, if you and your spouse went shopping together at a particular store, you might consider changing where you get your groceries to avoid being overcome by sadness. Or, you might be flooded by emotional pain when you drive by your spouse’s favorite dessert place. You could plan for this by taking a different route to get to where you are going. If you can’t take a different route, you might build some time into your day to let yourself experience the painful feelings that might arise in response to this cue. For example, you might leave a few minutes earlier than normal so you can air your grief in the comfort of your vehicle. You may not know what your triggers are until you experience them. Once you figure out something that brings about grief, take note so that you can create a plan for navigating subsequent encounters with this trigger.
You can search for support groups by going online, asking your grief counselor or therapist, or by looking in your local newspaper.
To find a psychologist near you, try this website.
Most of all, strive to be happy and fulfilled. Your dreams can become a reality and help fill the void in your life. You will meet new people and realize that life can be satisfying and exciting even if you are alone.
Be especially wary of abusing alcohol if you are a man, as there is evidence that men are more likely to drink to cope with loss than are women. [30] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Understand that the pet will not replace your love, nor is she meant to, but animals can make you smile and listen to you when you feel like talking to fill a lonely day.
Understand that the pet will not replace your love, nor is she meant to, but animals can make you smile and listen to you when you feel like talking to fill a lonely day.
Committing suicide is never a good thing, and you should not do it due to loved ones etc.
