The responding officer will file an incident report. Get a copy at your local police station or see if you can download it online through their website. If you’re hurt, go to a doctor or emergency room and ask them to document your injuries. Photographs and medical and police reports will help you file for a protective order, break a lease, and prove your abuser’s guilt in a criminal or civil case.
If you live in the United States, call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). For an international directory, see http://www. hotpeachpages. net/a/countries. html.
If you’re concerned that your abuser checks your phone and internet histories, delete hotline and shelter numbers, websites, and searches from your call log and internet history.
Try not feel afraid or anxious about asking for help. Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, and it’s a lot for one person to bear. Whether you seek the support of your loved ones or a non-profit organization, remember that you are not alone. If you don’t live near your close friends or family, you can still stay at a shelter. They can help you develop a safety plan and put you in touch with job placement programs, affordable childcare, and other resources.
Ask a friend or relative to go to the courthouse with you for moral support. You don’t need a lawyer to file a restraining order, and it doesn’t cost any money. Bring any documentation of the abuse to the hearing, including photographs and police or medical reports.
A support group for survivors of abuse may also help. It’s comforting to hear that you’re not alone, and that others have gone through similar situations.
Steps for applying for assistance depend on your location; a shelter or advocacy organization can walk you the process. Before you leave, do your best to gather vital documents, such as your ID or driver’s license, Social Security card, bank account information, and children’s birth certificates. You’ll need these when you apply for public assistance.
Abusers often use money as a means of control, and you might not have much experience with budgeting, paying bills, and building credit. Since this is a common issue for survivors of abuse, there are plenty of educational resources at your disposal. Download a free financial empowerment course for people leaving an abusive relationship at https://www. purplepurse. com/tools/financial-empowerment. aspx.
If you don’t have a job or haven’t worked in a while, gaining employment might seem impossible. Keep a positive mindset, and try to take things one step at a time. Think about any jobs you’ve held in the past and make a list of your skills. Search online for listings related to your skills, and ask family and friends if they know of any leads. An income is an important step toward financial independence, so be open to any and all opportunities. If the first job you land isn’t glamorous, focus on meeting your needs in the present. Remind yourself that you’ll have more options in the future, but getting back on your feet is the priority right now.
Break the Silence’s Grants for Hope program: https://breakthesilencedv. org/. Modest Needs: https://www. modestneeds. org. Women’s Independence Scholarship Program: http://wispinc. org.
Being without money is frightening, and it’s among the top reasons victims of abuse remain in abusive situations. Remember, you’re not alone, and your safety is important. You have a support system, and there are plenty of resources that can help you leave.
For instance if they give you $100 to go food shopping, try to set aside $10 or so for your reserve. If they don’t give you cash, try getting small amounts of cash back when you make debit transactions.
In the U. S. , check your state’s housing laws related to domestic violence at http://www. womenslaw. org/index. php. You can also discuss the situation with your landlord. They might be understanding, and they’ll probably be eager to prevent violence and potential damage to their property.
If necessary, change any insurance or retirement accounts you hold that list the abuser as a beneficiary. Both you and your abusive partner might need to be present to make changes to jointly held accounts. To handle this situation, a domestic violence advocacy group or shelter can put you in touch with a lawyer.
Compare your expenses with your income. If you’re still on the job hunt, your budget will give you an idea of how much you need to stay afloat. Seeing all of your expenses at once is stressful, and you might be wondering how you’ll make it work. You can do this! Staying at a shelter or with a loved one and getting financial assistance can minimize your expenses until you’ve found gainful employment.
Remember that your loved one’s finances will be on the line if you can’t pay rent.
Secured credit cards require a refundable deposit of $200 to 300. They work like a standard credit card and will help you build credit, but they lower the risk for the bank. Be sure to make purchases that you can afford to pay off by the due date. If you have credit accounts, keep them open and active. For instance, your credit score will take a major hit if you have $2,500 in debt, cancel a card with a $10,000 limit, and your available credit to debt ratio goes from $15,000/$2,500 to $5,000/$2,500. Ask a reliable friend or relative with good credit to add you as an authorized user to their credit card. You don’t have to make any purchases, but being an authorized user on their account can build your credit. If you’re in debt, pay the minimum balance on your accounts, and add any extra money you can spare toward the one with the smallest balance. Once that’s paid off, focus on the next smallest one, while still paying the minimum balance on the others. Continue until you’ve paid the balance on all of your accounts.
