Although it may sound easy, this is in in fact the most difficult task. You may not be clear about your goals or conflicted between two options. Be honest with yourself and find out what you really enjoy or can help you become the person you want to be. If you’re undecided between several options, evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of each and make a decision based on it. You can write down a list of pros and cons to help you through the process. Focus on the reasons behind your wish, consider possible alternatives, compare them and see whether your original wish is the one that best responds to your larger goal. For example, if you want to get a special camera in order to become a professional photographer, consider other cameras in the same range and check whether the one you originally wanted is still the best option to help you achieve your larger goal: becoming a professional photographer.
Specific. Don’t be generic about your goals. Ask yourself what you really want, why you want it, who can help you get it and in which way. Measurable. Sticking to quantifiable goals can also help you be specific and grounded. For example, if you want a car, find out its price, make an estimate of how much it will take for you to have that amount of money, think of where you’ll store it. Achievable. Be realistic about your goals. If you want to become a millionaire or marry a princess, the odds could be against you. Stick to goals that you know are within your reach. Relevant. Ask yourself whether what you want can make a difference to other people besides you. If your achievement is also in their best interest, they’ll help you get it. Time-bound. Make an estimate of how long it can take for you to reach your goal and set smaller goals on your path. For example, if you want to become an actor, you can give yourself two years to get an audition, three years to have a speaking role and five years to achieve the final goal before moving on to something else. [2] X Research source
For example, if you want to become a journalist, find out which schools can prepare you for the job and make an objective cost-benefit analysis. Consider doing part-time jobs and volunteer work that can help you get further experience in the field. Meet with people who work in the sector and ask for their advice.
For example, you might get the date of your life by overstating your skills and achievements or pretending to be someone else. If you keep dating this person, though, it will take them little time to know you as you really are.
Although we have no control over the passing of time, we can organize it. Sticking to a timetable, making short-term plans and setting deadlines can help you manage your time and turn it into your ally. Not all of your time should be devoted to reaching your goal. Wise time management also calls for taking breaks. If you don’t allow yourself some leisure time, you could become frustrated or drain all your energy for no reason.
Impatience stems from a feeling of impotence, of not being able to change the way things are. Realizing that there are things you can act upon and that the direction that your life takes is first of all determined by your decisions is important to have a more active approach and feel you’re still in the driver’s seat. For example, in order to find a job as a journalist you might send out thousands of resumes without much luck. However, focusing on other things you can do to achieve your goal, like writing as a volunteer for your college bulletin or attending workshops, can turn your wait into a time actively invested in useful activities and make it more tolerable. Devoting some time during the week to physical exercise and relaxation techniques can help you release stress and increase your level of patience.
Just like how we get what we want can be unpredictable, inactivity does not always happen according to our plans. For example, if you suddenly find yourself unemployed, don’t see this period as a waste of time or feel guilty about it. You can make it useful by pursuing what you really want to do and enjoying the benefits of having more time to yourself.
You can keep a gratitude journal where you actively list the things and reasons you should be grateful for. [7] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
Keep in mind that, as much as it is important, distraction shouldn’t be obsessive-compulsive. Spending half a day each day mopping the floor in order to forget you don’t have the job of your life will just as well affect your energy and health.
Even in this case, thinking back on your past achievements and appreciating what you already have is a good way to look on the bright side of the wait.
Thinking about the whole process and retracing your steps from the beginning can help you see what mistakes you might have made, and which alternative paths you could have taken. [9] X Research source
For example, if spending 16 hours a day sending resumes hasn’t helped you find a job, perhaps there’s some better way to invest your time, like networking.
Ask yourself whether getting what you want has become a matter of principle. If this is the case, you should reconsider your ambitions and focus on the reasons behind them rather than the object itself.
This doesn’t mean you should revolutionize your life. For example, even if the job of your life is impossible for you to get, there might be other jobs that are close enough and just as rewarding.
Think back on what made you happy before. Did happiness coincide with getting what you wanted, or was it a result of your approach to what you had? Can happiness be objectified, or is it more of a methodology?
