Consider what else was happening when you started questioning your feelings. Have other factors changed in your life? Maybe you started a new job, and you’re constantly exhausted. Maybe family troubles are causing a strain on the relationship. Make sure you recognize if your apathy or confusion about the relationship stems from the natural ups and downs of life, rather than feelings toward your partner.
Take note of how often you reject your partner’s advances, criticize them, lose patience with them, and so on. If you find that you’re doing these things more often than not, you probably need to take a hard, honest look at your relationship.
Any breakup is hard, because it means stepping outside of your comfort zone and losing someone you once cared about. However, imagine life after the initial discomfort. Would you be happier on your own? Would you be happier with someone else? Recognize that being comfortable with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you love them.
If the relationship ended because someone made a mistake, it is important to determine if you can truly forgive and forget. You can’t create a future with someone if you are stuck in the issues of the past. Similarly, nothing will change about your relationship if no one has changed. If you broke up with your partner because you didn’t trust them, either they need to have become trustworthy or you need to have become trusting. Past issues don’t just disappear.
Write it all down so you can truly see if the positives outweigh the negatives. Don’t hold back!
If you can say with certainty loneliness, jealousy, boredom, or any other superficial emotion isn’t the reason you’re considering rekindling your romance, you may still love this person.
Once you decide to start voicing your feelings, things may get complicated. Don’t do this unless you’re sure it is something that needs to be addressed. Often times it is easier to write your feelings down so that you can say everything you need to say. Writing a letter can be a great way to communicate with your current or past partner.
