If they are currently in a relationship, you should respect that relationship and not initiate any romantic contact. If you are just acquaintances, you stand very little risk, but you also don’t know if they like you at all. You should assess their actions and move forward if you think you could have a chance or it feels important to you to express your feelings (though you should be good at handling rejection and not taking it personally before you take this risk blindly). If you are just friends, you know them already, but you also run the risk of messing up your friendship. Think about if changing your friendship is worth it and if you could still be friends if they are not interested.
The next time you all are around the person you like, ask your friends to pay attention to the situation so they can give you feedback later.
Group outings are also a great way to allow them to see you having fun which could result in them developing an interest in you.
This may also help you figure out if there’s someone else in the picture. If they post something like, “Had and incredible day with someone really special!” and you didn’t see them all day, then you might consider that they have a crush on someone else.
Think about if your crush goes one step further and initiates contact with you. Do they give you high fives, hug, or tickle you? This may indicate they have feelings for you, too.
If they try to spend alone time with you, this could be a sign that they like you. If they try to be your partner on a group project or sit with you at lunch, this could also be a sign that they are interested. Also consider how much and often they text or call you and if they regularly like or comment on your social media posts. If you are acquaintances, notice if they say hello or make an effort to chat with you when you cross paths.
Consider the kinds of questions they ask you. The deeper the questions, the more likely it is that they are interested.
Notice as well how they interact with others. If you see them being touchy feely with everyone else, but not with you, then perhaps they are not interested. At the same time, treating you differently from everyone else could indicate they feel nervous around you. Because body language can be confusing, try to look at other factors, as well. Notice if they face you in a crowd, gravitate towards you, or sit near you when possible.
Try touching their shoulder randomly for a second or two while they’re speaking or elbowing them gently and casually in the arm when they make a funny joke. The safest way to touch them is to mirror the ways they touch you. If they do things like nudge you in the shoulder or hug you when they see you, then you can do those things with them as well, without them first initiating.
Lean into them slightly when they talk. Look softly at them in their eyes when they speak. Smile brightly at them when you see them or when they say something cute. Laugh at their jokes. Put your hand on their shoulder briefly when you laugh at them or touch their knee briefly when you sit side by side and are speaking to them. You can also hug them when you see them and when you are about to leave.
Don’t overdo the compliments, however. Too much of a good thing can sometimes be a bad thing. Stick to once or twice weekly for a while.
For instance, if your crush was talking about a band that they like, you might go home and listen to them. The next time you see your crush, you can say, “Hey, I checked out that band you were talking about!” Or if your crush says they are nervous about a big test coming up, you can follow up later by asking them how it went.
In addition to only speaking kindly of them, respect their wishes. If they ask you to tone it down on the flirting, you should do so. Give them the space that they need.
Remember that if they are not interested in dating you, it’s not a reflection on you. It simply means this isn’t the person for you. You deserve to be with someone who is excited to date you, so try not to waste any more time on this person.
For instance, if you want to date them just because they are attractive, this may not be a good enough reason to pursue a relationship. However, if your heart skips a beat when you see them or if it makes you jealous to see them date other people, your feelings may be worth exploring.
Write out a pros and cons list of pursuing a relationship with this person.
Consider the values this person has and if they align with your own values. For instance, if you are very religious but this person is not, that could be a problem in the future. Don’t ignore this. If you don’t know the person very well, you may not know much yet about their values. You can, however, look for any glaring red flags. For instance, you may have heard that this person is always getting hauled into the principal’s office for bad behavior, or has even been in trouble with the law. As cute and mysterious as this person might seem, this is a red flag that you probably shouldn’t date them.
You might say something like “Hey Mom, I was wondering have you ever had a crush on someone but didn’t know if you have a chance with them? I’d like some advice. ”
Make a list of your strengths to help boost your confidence. Try writing out what you would like to say to your crush. Practice your conversation in the mirror, and visualize the conversation going really well.
