If they text you every time they’re out drinking at a bar and it’s late at night, they’re probably looking for a hookup. If you talk often throughout the day about things other than getting together to have sex, there may be more depth to the relationship.
Some people are just homebodies and that’s okay! If the person you’re seeing likes to be home, think about how often you spend time together that doesn’t end in them initiating sex. He might also make excuses about why he can’t hang out with you.
Pay attention to how your conversations go when you’re together, too. If things always seem to take a sexual turn, that most likely means that person has one thing on their mind.
If you do ask them to try different things or tell them what you prefer and they don’t listen, that’s a clear sign that they’re there for their own benefit.
Try asking them what they find attractive about you. If their list is full of physical descriptions, ask them what they like about you other than your looks. This could jog a deeper discussion or cue you into their true intentions.
On the flip-side, if they are saying things like “I just want things to be casual,” or “I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” listen to them. Those are clear statements about their intentions that shouldn’t be ignored.
For example, send them a text that says something like, “There’s a super cool event downtown next Saturday morning. Want to meet up and get coffee and walk around together? I have to meet my mom that afternoon, but I’d love to spend some time together beforehand. ” You could also say something like, “I’ve been feeling a little cooped up lately and need to get out of the house. Want to join me for a run at the park after work?”
If they say that’s fine and settle in to simply hang out, that is great! But if they get cranky or leave, you have your answer.
Pay attention to how you feel you’re treated after sex. If you feel ignored or used, there is a reason for that. Chances are you’re not being unreasonable or dramatic—you should trust your intuition.
Someone who is only interested in sex isn’t going to be very invested in your emotional well-being.
If they check up on you, bring you food, or do something else for you, that’s super nice and shows that they do care about you.
If they always come up with excuses or are busy when you want to see their friends or have them meet yours, pay attention to that. It shows that they aren’t interested in becoming a bigger part of your life.
