Many bullies shove or push their victim. If you are being bullied, the bully may inflict minor or major physical injuries on you in places that they know not very many people will see or notice. They may do this to avoid suspicion from a parent or a supervisor.
Invading personal space is often done by bullies who are trying to intimidate you or scare you, without using actual physical assault. Bullies may also invade your personal space and then escalate their bullying tactics to physical attacks.
Causing sensory pain; this may be tailored to a disability such as flashing lights at a photosensitive person or making loud noise in order to watch an autistic person jump and whimper Trying to irritate an injury, such as prodding a broken arm, or dropping things for you to pick up when you have a painful knee injury Trying to trigger a medical condition, such as using flash photography to try to trigger a seizure in an epileptic person, or showing graphic content to someone who has PTSD or a phobia
You may experience physical discomfort in the presence of the bully or during times when you are not around the bully. The night before school, for example, you may feel physically ill at the thought of having to see the bully. Or, you may become nauseated and sick on your drive to work because you know you will need to see the bully in the office. These are all psychosomatic responses to bullying and often will only go away if you deal with the bully.
Often, verbal abuse can be as damaging as physical abuse, as you can be mentally and emotionally hurt by the bully’s words. Verbal abuse can often go undetected if it is done quietly and constantly, so it is important to notice if the bully is causing you psychological pain through hurtful words.
An example of specific and helpful criticism is “This article could use some work. It’s a stub at this point, and could benefit from an expansion regarding how to ask the guy out. " An example of destructive criticism is “This article is useless, unhelpful, and just plain stupid. Clearly the writer has no idea what they are talking about. " Occasionally, people give ill-meaning advice that appears constructive, but is meant to shut you up instead of help you. This advice may make little sense, and they may flood you with nonsensical critiques intended to frustrate you or erase your agency instead of help you.
You may hear about the bully’s lies through your friends or coworkers and feel a sense of shame or guilt. Remember that you are not responsible for the bully’s actions and you are not to blame for the bully’s bad behavior.
Minority status can include race, religion, disability (including disability symptoms), LGBTQIA status, gender presentation, size, ethnicity, and more. Or, they may try to insult you by comparing you to a stigmatized group, such as saying that you look girly or that you sound like you’re disabled, even if you are not a member of that group.
Try explaining your feelings using “I” language to the other person. A good person cares about how you feel. For example, if you feel hurt when they joke about your accent, they will stop making those jokes as soon as they find out; they are clueless and not a bully. A bully will tell you that your feelings are unimportant or nonsensical—anything to justify not listening to you.
The bully may also do this in a school setting, where they get you in trouble with your teacher and causes you to suffer academic setbacks or penalties. They are likely doing this as a way to limit your progress or to prevent you from succeeding. This kind of bullying doesn’t always involve work. Sometimes bullies will do things to deliberately get you in trouble. For example, if someone tells you to break a rule and then tells your teacher or boss about it, or if they know you’re going to get caught doing it, that is bullying.
If there is a teacher at your school you feel close to and trust, reach out to them and talk to them about the bullying. You may want to wait until after class or before class so there is no one else in the room and you can confide in them one on one. If there is a supervisor that you feel you have a good relationship with, talk to them about the workplace bullying you have been experiencing at work. Set up a meeting one on one so you have some privacy and can confide in them in a comfortable environment.
If you are not comfortable with talking to your school counselor, you can also talk to someone via a teen health hotline, found here: http://www. teenhealthandwellness. com/static/hotlines. The hotline is run by individuals trained to help people in need and can often offer a sympathetic ear to discuss your issues.
