Cutting or burning oneself Punching or hitting oneself Trying to poison oneself Over or undereating Biting oneself Over exercising Hair-pulling (trichotillomania) Picking scabs
Pressure at school or work Bullying Money worries Abuse (physical, sexual or emotional) Bereavement Confusion about gender or sexuality Breakdown of a relationship Job loss Illness or health problem (physical or mental) Low self-esteem Stress Difficult feelings
Some people consider suicide attempts a form of self-harm. [7] X Research source
People with psychological conditions Young people not under the care of their parents The LGBTQ+ community Someone who lost someone to suicide
Only girls self-harm. Studies have shown this isn’t the case. It is possible boys may use different self-harm methods than girls. This doesn’t mean it is less serious. Self-harm is attention-seeking. Usually, people who self-harm will try to hide the fact they do. In some cases, self-harm can be a cry for help, but this doesn’t make it any less serious. People who self-harm are suicidal. Self-harm can be seen as a coping mechanism for some. Some people who self-harm can have suicidal thoughts, but not all.
Self-harm scars are often parallel and look similar. Keep in mind that some people may disguise their scars as accidents.
The person may also cover their injuries with bracelets or watches. It is easier to notice in summer, since in winter, many people cover up because of the cold. Notice if they cover up even in hot weather. [10] X Research source
Be careful about staring at a person’s legs. You don’t want to upset or scare them.
Such a person may buy wigs or hair extensions to conceal hair loss. They may also buy fake eyelashes. Notice if the person frequently covers their hair with a hat or another accessory. Keep in mind that some people cover their hair for religious reasons. Be aware there are many reasons for hair loss besides self-harm, such as:[12] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Cancer treatment Stress Ageing Illness Weight loss Iron deficiency Hair-pulling can also be a sign of an anxiety disorder such as OCD.
Watch out for any signs of blood, such as bloody tissues.
Don’t assume they are self-harming just because they don’t want to go swimming. There are many reasons someone might not want to go swimming.
Give people the benefit of doubt. Sometimes perfectly innocent injuries can look like self-harm.
The person may not want to do activities they previously enjoyed. Notice if they say they “can’t be bothered” a lot of the time. Isolating oneself can be a symptom of depression, with or without self-harm.
They may be very secretive or defensive about their time in there. Notice if when they are dealing with difficult emotions, they go away somewhere alone and seem fine when they come back. This can indicate that they have done something to cope with these feelings. Be aware that most teens have a strong need of privacy. It’s natural for them to want to be alone from their family, and this doesn’t necessarily mean they are cutting. Respect their quiet time and try not to interrupt much.
Remember that not all people who self-harm seem sad. The person may seem like a happy person on the outside. Don’t assume someone isn’t self-harming just because they seem to be happy. Be aware, however, if someone who is depressed or frequently sad suddenly acts happy. If they seem incredibly calm or happy out of the blue, they may have decided to commit suicide and are happy because they won’t have to deal with problems in their life anymore. If you see someone who is usually depressed seem suddenly happy, check in on them and ask them how they’re doing and the cause of their joy. [14] X Research source
The person may make self-depreciating jokes or statements often. They may express feelings of hopelessness or self-loathing. They may also talk about punishing themselves. [16] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Take any mentions of self-harm as an opportunity to talk about the subject. The person may open up.
Be over or underweight or have significant weight changes. Skip meals or eat too little. Binge eat. Feel light-headed or dizzy. Force themselves to throw up, possibly by using laxatives. Eat too fast or when they’re not hungry. Eat alone.
Of course, mood swings can be a sign of puberty or that someone is on their period. Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly.
Don’t force the person to stop and take away their “tools”, this can result the person in taking risky measures. Instead, encourage the person to get professional help. Don’t threaten/scare someone who is self-harming and say you’re going to tell their parents if they won’t stop. Self-harm is a vast topic. Its origins can vary broadly. Self-harm can mean different things, and there is a big difference between scratching yourself and cutting yourself with a box cutter. It is better to seek specific support, depending on the origins of self-harm behavior for a person. Seeing a Dialectical Behavior Therapy therapist or group might help the individual better understand daily triggers and increase their coping resources.
Don’t force the person to stop and take away their “tools”, this can result the person in taking risky measures. Instead, encourage the person to get professional help. Don’t threaten/scare someone who is self-harming and say you’re going to tell their parents if they won’t stop. Self-harm is a vast topic. Its origins can vary broadly. Self-harm can mean different things, and there is a big difference between scratching yourself and cutting yourself with a box cutter. It is better to seek specific support, depending on the origins of self-harm behavior for a person. Seeing a Dialectical Behavior Therapy therapist or group might help the individual better understand daily triggers and increase their coping resources.
